1TherapyPlace

Shendl Tuchman

Primary Office Info:
2 Crow Canyon Court
Suite 200
San Ramon, CA 94583
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Contact Info:
925-201-3435

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Specialties:
1st: Divorce
2nd: Relationships
3rd: Children, Adolescents and Parenting

NEWS:  Communicating For Results: A Divorce Communications Workshop.  March 27, 2010 in the Bay Area.  Learn to be articulate without fear and drama, negotiate clearly and fairly and protect yourself without becoming uncaring.

Communication is an art, a skill and a discipline.  Yet we typically take it for granted.  We are rarely taught how to communicate.  Most of  the time we learn how to communicate "on the job" of life.  Our communication styles evolve from "what works" with those who are in charge and those with less power than we have - our parents, brothers and sisters, teachers and classmates.  By the time we are adult, our communication style is pretty well solidified for better or worse.  We've made it this far, sometimes because of good communication skills and sometimes in spite of bad ones.

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I specialize in working with individuals and couples as they try to manage their relationships: starting them, preserving them, changing them or ending them. Perhaps you are reading this profile because you are starting a new relationship or contemplating ending one you are already in or because you have been told that your relationship is changing or over.  It may be that you want your relationship to improve.  Perhaps you are looking forward to these changes, but are concerned about how best to go about it.  Or maybe you are faced with the fear of what those changes might bring.  Whether you are the person who is making the decision or not, it may be a confusing and frustrating time for you.

If you want to improve the relationship you are in, I can work with you individually or as a couple to discover how the disconnection between you can be addressed so that the possibility of finding the healthy, loving relationship you want becomes possible.  In these difficult economic times, many people who might consider getting divorced are choosing to stay together and work on their marriages/relationships.  Couples therapy may be the less expensive way to make the changes in your lives that will help both of you and your children to avoid the conflict and pain of a relationship that isn't working as you had hoped it would.

If you are divorcing, I can help you understand the effects of divorce and the process of moving from a pre-divorce to a post-divorce family, whether through the court system or with Alternative Dispute Resolutions such as Collaborative Divorce or private mediation (I offer mediation both with or without an attorney partner).  These processes are designed to help couples take control over the decisions that will impact their lives for many years, without going to court where a judge may be the final arbiter.  

You may want to consider starting your divorce with a family therapist, someone who understands that divorce is an emotional event that has legal ramifications, not a legal decision that happens to have emotional consequences.  I work with attorneys who are committed to helping families divorce without creating more conflict for them.  I will help you be clear about what is most important to you, your entire family, and especially the impact of divorce on your children.

I also help parties as a custody mediator to help determine your parenting plan.  As a co-parenting therapist I help mothers and fathers reduce conflict as they figure out their new roles as post-divorce parents.

Are you about to make the decision to make your relationship long-term?  Do you think you have thought through what this commitment could be?  Do you feel you have enough information to know if you both are coming to this decision in a way that is clear and thought out.  Many people find, when they are facing divorce, that they did not know so many things about the other person they wish they had.  It is difficult to know everything about another person.  However, it is certainly possible to know more than most people do when making a life-altering decision about marrying and/or having children.

I am happy to discuss any aspect of the work I do with you.  Please feel free to contact me through phone or email.  I have offices in both San Ramon and Berkeley.

Keywords: divorce, relationships, communication, parenting, children of divorce