As we kick off the holiday season I would like to challenge you to think about something that has most likely played a very important role in your life---your family of origin.  What does where you came from mean to you?  How has it inspired you, or hindered you?  What memories accompany your childhood?  What memories do you want your own children to have as adults?

The Holidays seem to have a special way of bringing out the child in many of us.  We find ourselves reminiscing about childhood traditions, events and the “good times”.  The nostalgia for our family past, our childhood, drives many of us within our own families.  We participate in rituals and family traditions.  We go to great lengths to visit extended family, which we may not see any other time of year.  We exchange gifts, make special holiday dishes, tell the same old stories over and over, year after year.  There definitely seems to be an ever-present sense of excitement for many around the holidays.  Family plays a vital role in all of our lives, regardless of whether those experiences were positive or negative. 

Why is family so important?  Why do we have this need for family closeness?  From birth we are naturally dependent on our family.  As we grow up it is within the confines of our family structure that we learn to function—appropriately or inappropriately.  Typically it is the family system that provides the foundation for who we become as adults.  It is the main educator, disciplinarian, confidant, and unit of measurement by which one compares oneself. 

Unfortunately, many times the value of family is minimized by our society and at times by ourselves, due to the increasing demands we must meet. I believe it is important that we instill in our children a value for family. When children do not have the security of a close family bond they will often turn to outside, and often negative, sources to fill that void.  Love and acceptance is crucial at all levels of a child’s development and is best met by a child’s family.  A strong family bond generates a positive and stable sense of self within a child. 

There are multiple ways to foster the importance of family with your children such as eating meals together regularly, participating in activities, taking an active interest in their day to day events, being supportive and always accepting.  The Holidays are a great time to focus on family rituals and traditions.  Share those that you joined in as a child and/or start a new one.  Sharing your own childhood experiences and family history can also assist in providing your children with a sense of belonging.  It is the memories you make now that they will be reminiscing about in years to come.

Lastly, at a time when so many families are separated by distance due to poor finances, poor health and/or military deployment I would challenge each and every one of you to take time to think about what your own family means to you, where you would be without them, and what you can do to let them know how you value and appreciate them.  

I wish you all a Happy Holiday and a strong family bond.